Tag: humor
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Dr. Feelgood
There are two different types of drivers in the world: those who speed, God bless ’em, and those who drive like they’re on their way to the proctologist. Like they really don’t want to get where they’re going. Not me though. I love going to the proctologist! Any specialist will do: dentist, dermatologist, gynecologist. For…
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OKStupid
The dating app for settling “You’ve searched for the best! Now try the rest!” When you’re ready to settle down, you have to settle. Because all the best ones are already taken already. It’s finally time to accept a date with that guy who is shirtless in his profile photo, standing by the weight set…
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The Lowdown on NYC
I am the type of New Yorker real New Yorkers love to hate: I was a transplant to begin with, and as soon as the pandemic got too hot, I bounced. Then I did the worst thing imaginable: bought a house in NJ. Living across the river is sacrilege to the most devoted New Yorkers.…
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Hello depression, my old friend
Have you ever met someone who has never been depressed? They tell you they don’t know what that feels like. That doesn’t make sense to me. Didn’t you have a childhood? Didn’t you go to school? Don’t you have a family?! You’re telling me you’ve never been depressed? I don’t even know how to work…
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On the Pole/Off the Pole
You know how it’s every parent’s worst nightmare that their daughter will hit the pole? Well, not my parents; they weren’t of an opinion one way or the other. But someone’s parents feared that potential outcome. I couldn’t personally dance with a stripper pole. With my germaphobia? That piece of metal is the same as…
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Herding Cats Has Got Nothing on Herding Toddlers
We’re all familiar with the phrase “herding cats,” oft used in the business world to describe a difficult group to manage. As the parent of a toddler, I submit we change this phrase to “herding toddlers.” Even a single toddler is nigh impossible to manage. I’ll solve your cat problem right now: simply walk in…
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More $s for More Zs
In support of the power nap I wish the power nap — or better yet, the afternoon siesta — was part of the American culture. I know some tech companies have nap pods onsite, but the concept of napping really isn’t celebrated in this country. It’s a shame. Capped at thirty minutes, the power nap isn’t quite sufficient for me.…
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Rising Like a Phoenix
But sleepy as a sloth When I was 18, the thought of turning 40 was the worst thing I could imagine. But then I reached 40, and now even that is in my rearview mirror. So, while it doesn’t feel cool to be in my 40s, there’s only one alternative: the grave. Guess I’ll take…
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From Luddite to Tech Wizard
In five short years No one would have foreseen me going into the tech field, least of all me. This was not a straight path. In high school I signed up for “Keyboarding” because I wanted to learn how to play an instrument. Turns out, it was a touch-typing class. I was like, “Guys, the…
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Creepy Crawlies
If you live in the burbs, you live with bugs. When I resided on the 48th floor of an apartment building in Manhattan, I saw nary a bug. Not so much as a spider hiding out in the corner. If I had ever actually seen a ladybug, I would have thrown it a miniature parade,…
A Flick of the Pen 