A Flick of the Pen

When dreams give you the stuff of your dreams

Source: Wikimedia Commons

I awoke at 4:20 AM today, 4/20, having just enjoyed the most amazing dream, courtesy of nighttime cough syrup. Starring Jemaine Clement, from the music/comedy duo Flight of the Conchords, it was downright magical.

We were working an event together at a hotel. I was the event planner, he the special guest. We hit it off after chatting a bit. As I was escorting him to the stage via a delivery cart, I told him of my long-held crush since the days of his TV show.

Jemaine said he was feeling a deep connection and asked if I would like to kiss. I said Of course I would but you’re married. Plus this is a very public venue and anyone could catch us in the act. So, I maintained my professionalism and wheeled him to the edge of the stage as he sat cross legged atop the delivery cart gazing at me with appreciation.

I waited in the wings and listened, my heart soaring as he got laughs from the audience. When Jemaine finished, he returned to my side and told me he had feelings for me too. Because it seemed we had privacy there in the darkness of the wings, we collapsed to the floor making out passionately. We had serious chemistry. We each had to use all of our willpower to tear ourselves apart.

Jemaine’s wife, who I had just become friends with before the show, was waiting in the lobby to take him home. I stood up, adjusted my clothing, and reverted to the professional event planner I was.

As I was packing up to leave, Jemaine’s wife and I got into a lively discussion. She was like, I love you you’re so funny. And I was like I love you too! I’m so glad we met. We took a selfie along with her best friend who was also there. Surrounded by event staff and Jemaine’s crew, it felt lively and exciting in the hotel lobby. But no one knew just how exhilarating it was for me.

Just then a tech told me that they had recorded my conversation with Jemaine while I was escorting him on stage. It was a hot mic situation. They hadn’t listened to it yet but were wondering if they should add it as a bonus to the film they shot. Jemaine’s wife was in earshot as I blurted No! No need to use that! Nothing interesting there.

By the time I had gathered my bags, Jemaine’s wife became hip to what had occurred. I was suddenly persona non grata. Everyone in the lobby turned on me and began chastising me. Some people scoffed.

I ran back downstairs and straight into Jemaine. He was like Yes, I’m married, but how do these sorts of situations arise where…He was at a loss for words and instead used his index finger to point to his forehead and then touch mine and then return to his and then return to mine. I knew exactly what he meant. How did two souls from opposite ends of the earth find each other and hit it off so perfectly?

We began to passionately kiss once again. Then we pried ourselves apart and I said No, we mustn’t do this. You’ve got a wife and I’ve got a four-year-old around here somewhere who I need to find and take home because it is now 10:30 PM.

Jemaine gave me a handwritten note on a square napkin telling me how much he liked me. I knew I was going to treasure it forever.

Then I awoke for no good reason with a parched throat and my mouth open. My lips had in all likelihood dried out while mimicking kissing my Kiwi crush.

Sleep — how dare you abandon me during my sexiest dream? Also, where is that note from Jemaine?