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More $s for More Zs
In support of the power nap I wish the power nap — or better yet, the afternoon siesta — was part of the American culture. I know some tech companies have nap pods onsite, but the concept of napping really isn’t celebrated in this country. It’s a shame. Capped at thirty minutes, the power nap isn’t quite sufficient for me.…
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Rising Like a Phoenix
But sleepy as a sloth When I was 18, the thought of turning 40 was the worst thing I could imagine. But then I reached 40, and now even that is in my rearview mirror. So, while it doesn’t feel cool to be in my 40s, there’s only one alternative: the grave. Guess I’ll take…
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From Luddite to Tech Wizard
In five short years No one would have foreseen me going into the tech field, least of all me. This was not a straight path. In high school I signed up for “Keyboarding” because I wanted to learn how to play an instrument. Turns out, it was a touch-typing class. I was like, “Guys, the…
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Creepy Crawlies
If you live in the burbs, you live with bugs. When I resided on the 48th floor of an apartment building in Manhattan, I saw nary a bug. Not so much as a spider hiding out in the corner. If I had ever actually seen a ladybug, I would have thrown it a miniature parade,…
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Lost in Thought
I took a personality test that asked me, “Do you tend to get lost in your thoughts when hiking in the woods?” I was like, “Duh!” If you’re not lost in thought while lost in the woods, then what the hell are you doing? The nature of this question is freaking me out. It implies…
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Rando in NJ
Antithesis to Emily in Paris I’m watching an episode of Emily in Paris on Netflix when I discover I’ve got sticky onion jam smeared under my chin from my sandwich at lunch half an hour ago. I’m wearing an $8 Target t-shirt with denim shorts, and I’ve got bags under my eyes from being so…
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The Real Reason Behind the Fall of Icarus
Let me get this straight, Icarus — we’re to believe that you were smart enough to design a way to fly of your own volition, but stupid enough to fly “too close” to the sun? Uh-uh. I’m not buying that story. Something else went down. A mistake so foolish and easily avoided that you decided to blame…
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Gaslit by Toddlers and Robots
After my 3.5-year-old used the toilet and flushed, I instructed her to wash her hands. “Why?” she said. “I didn’t touch anything.” “You just touched the toilet handle,” I said. She responded, without missing a beat: “It’s an automatic toilet.” My overly confident child thought she could convince me that we have fancy, self-flushing toilets.…
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A Case of Mistaken Identity and Mistaken Advice
I was supposed to meet a colleague at the cafeteria. I looked across the room and thought to myself, “There she is! I’d recognize that long blonde hair anywhere.” But as I approached, I realized it was a poster. Featuring a plate of spaghetti. That’s when I learned my eyesight isn’t 20/20. But, since no…
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Hot Bunking
Otherwise known as false advertising Here’s a marketing tagline for the US Navy to reel in new recruits: “Join to serve your country. Stay for the hot bunking.” Sounds like a frisky adventure, right? One you’d definitely be interested in signing up for. Alas, it’s false advertising. I learned what the term ‘hot bunking’ means…
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A Flick of the Pen 