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Continue reading →: The Real Lowdown on Napoleon
A totally 2% true history Contrary to popular opinion, it wasn’t Buddha or some other yogi that came up with the idea of mindfulness. It was none other than Monsieur Napoleon Bonaparte. People say he was short. He wasn’t. He was of average height, around 5’6″ says the Internet. Some…
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Continue reading →: Feminism vs. Domesticity
A rant I’ve got a full-time job, a husband, a kid, a house, a car. I’m living the American dream! So why is it that as I push the vacuum cleaner back and forth, I’m like, “Fuck this! I hate domesticity!” When I do laundry, I abuse the washing machine…
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Continue reading →: Our Disgusting Human Bodies
The human condition isn’t pretty The only hair on my head that is its original shade of brown is my mustache. The hair on top: dyed. Eyebrows: penciled in. But my mustache? Still going strong! Why do genetics hate us so much? You’d think useless and socially problematic features like…
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Continue reading →: Bizarre Thoughts
When my mind wanders Have you ever had a thought so bizarre you were like, “Thank God nobody can hear my thoughts! I would have invited scrutiny upon my mental health with that one.” That’s precisely the kind that makes up the majority of my thoughts each and every day.…
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Continue reading →: Awkward Trip to Mars
Are we %@#& there yet?! Rather than astronauts and scientists, I propose that it be the world’s most despised inhabitants that are selected for passage to Mars. Every person across the globe would get to cast a vote for the twenty worst offenders — think those who are dangerous, rabble rousers, or…
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Continue reading →: Big Fork, Little Fork
The mysteries of dining etiquette I am nouveau riche. And by “new” I mean I’m on the more recent end of evolving from an ape to a human and by “wealthy” I mean I’ve got more than just a banana and fleas. In addition to walking fully upright, my bragging…
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Continue reading →: Good Animals Gone Bad
On our recent family trip to Hawaii, I planned an excursion to an animal sanctuary. I convinced the proprietor to permit my 3.5-year-old on the property, despite the minimum guest age being seven. I assured the hippie who answered the phone that my daughter poses no harm to animals. At…
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Continue reading →: Eating My Feelings
I want to donate a kidney, just for the weight loss. I’ve gained 30 pounds since the birth of my daughter 3 years ago, which is more than I gained during pregnancy. It kills me to know that this food baby won’t be birthed, leaving me with a beach ready…
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Continue reading →: Dr. Feelgood
There are two different types of drivers in the world: those who speed, God bless ’em, and those who drive like they’re on their way to the proctologist. Like they really don’t want to get where they’re going. Not me though. I love going to the proctologist! Any specialist will…
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Continue reading →: OKStupid
The dating app for settling “You’ve searched for the best! Now try the rest!” When you’re ready to settle down, you have to settle. Because all the best ones are already taken already. It’s finally time to accept a date with that guy who is shirtless in his profile photo,…
Hello,
I’m Angie
Residing in the New York metropolitan area, I spend much of my free time writing. I graduated from Seattle University and regularly return to Gotham Writers Workshop to keep my skills sharp.
Typically writing at the intersection of memoir and humor, I am currently refining several manuscripts that fall into the graphic novel, crime, and science fiction categories.
My goal with this blog is to offer readers a five-minute break from the monotony and stress of everyday life. Success for me is making you smile or laugh.
If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a cup of coffee to fuel my next piece.
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A Flick of the Pen 